Performing for God
Today, I feel like I have to give you the hook up front. If this is all you read, then we can consider it good:
God doesn’t want your performance
God doesn’t want your busy
He doesnt need your tasking - unless he’s specifically given you this to do of course
God does NOT want a routine
God simply wants you, in full surrender - He wants your full-abandoned heart.
I was aching and longing just to spend time in God’s word. I was longing to hear from him and hear his voice, have a conversation with him… for the first time the other day I hear His voice audibly when I was laying in bed. I had just woke up out of a deep sleep with this vision He had given me… and I heard His voice audibly speak to me. At first it scared me… but when I realized it must be Him, I was so excited!!!!
This morning is Saturday and I was so glad to have time to sit and spend in His word. I went to a couple of verses that some people gave me the day before and I started down a rabbit hole of research. Then I stopped… the Lord said (in my mind) ‘what did you learn this morning.’ I thought about the verses and what they said, and some had a similar theme. But I didn’t have any great revelations (like I normally would where I would hear something from Him or come out with a new perspective or something alike. The Lord said to me “You can’t find me in your business. I don’t need your performance studying, I need your quiet study, diligence and time.” Then He said something that I say to my clients when I go in and begin a new engagement… He said, “I just need you.” (ie: your time and mind). Revelation 3:20 “See! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”
God Met me where I was
If I told you He’s said this to me and others around me multiple times lately, you’d be like… dude… come on! And He has and it’s true. But today, I was so grateful I caught myself in the moment and was able to back it up and give Him my quiet. I have SO LONGED to just hear from Him. To feel Him, to EXPERIENCE Him. We can’t get this in keeping ourselves busy in this 24/7 GO GO GO cycle we’ve grown accustomed to. It’s one of my most favorite things I love about getting older and about my new job is I get to go slower.
If I don’t stop and sit in quiet, me personally, it is so hard for me to hear what God is trying to say. Like… the deep things, like these things I write about, the deep big sometimes life changing words of magnitude… that rock your mind. Don’t get me wrong, I hear from Him all day long, I am in constant prayer these days. I feel like that’s my sweet spot these days :) Even though I am in constant conversation with Him all day long, I need to slow down and ensure I am also giving God my quiet time too so I can prioritize my relationship. If you want a relationship with someone, you have to prioritize those people… and this engagement that I have grown accustomed to each day - this is something I can’t let go of.
We train kids to perform in so many places from such an early age. We start by getting them to act the way we want, telling them who they are, forcing them to learn routines in most organized sports and these are not all bad things… Some of this stuff offers a lot of benefits! These thing can teach discipline and very unique skills. These activities can help kids discover things they may or may not see. But in some environments, it can do a number on you when you and when you become an adult, if you don’t get the “performance” piece under control… this can become detrimental. I teach on the enneagram - go to https://thejourneyofdiscovery.net if you’d like more info - and I do know that I my personality is predispositioned to perform for people and not tend to my feeling and my needs. Do you see how this morning, how God so gently and lovingly stopped me and asked, what have you learned? He knew why I was here today. He knew what I needed. He knew why I came to Him. He knew what my souls desires were today. And with a soft nudge… He asked… So I went back and I looked to Him. I listened to Him.
I have been watching The Chosen series lately, this has been so huge to help me unlock a new level of experiencing God in new ways. And also in putting a new experience on the disciples too. I have such a great appreciation for The Chosen’s team and cast and crew for what they’re doing. I am writing about this as well and will post that soon. So a huge thank you to them!!!!
Sometimes... Do you remember what It' was like when we were kids and all we needed was just to sit on the couch or a chair and snuggle with your mom or dad when you were little. and fill up with love? That’s exactly what this feels like. Like a beautiful perfect connection and warm hug, and almost always I close out with words of knowledge and maybe even writing up something like this. I pray this helps someone out there, and blesses you. And I will leave you with one of my favorite verses and songs :)
Numbers 6: 22-26 - The Lord spoke to Moses: “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. You should say to them,
“May the Lord bless you and protect you
May the Lord make His face shine on you
And be gracious to you
May the Lord turn His face towards you
And give you peace.”